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Should You Always Be Perfect?: 10 Questions That Help You Know If Your Relationship Is Complicated Or Toxic



While 100% of couples argue, there are certain factors that make the difference between a complicated relationship and just a toxic relationship that can even lead to an abusive relationship.

Romantic relationships can be difficult regardless of gender, type of bond (monogamous or polygamous), or age, but once you’re in a relationship, it can be daunting. .

This same “blindness” can lead to yelling, repeated brawls, and unnoticed altercations, which can be early warning signs of trouble. abusive relationship .

10 questions to identify a toxic relationship

For this reason, you need to detect if your relationship is just complicated or toxic. “red flag” of your partner.

Insider’s website Couples Coach Rachel Krechevsky and the Couples therapist Laura Silverstein ,test.

1. Do you tell your partner when he or she hurts your feelings?

yes: green flag
No: red flag

Maintaining good communication is important in any relationship, says Klechevsky, so “being able to tell your partner that your feelings have been hurt is a good sign. It means it can be shared securely in a way.”

but yesyou feel diminished or disrespected it could mean you are in toxic relationship . Adding to this, fear If you are verbally or physically assaulted to verbalize your feelings with your partner, you may be in an abusive relationship.

2. Do you always feel like you’re doing something wrong?

Yes: red flag

No: green flag

Experts say criticism can be normal in a relationship as long as it’s done in a subtle way and in the right tone. You should be able to say it to someone, but try not to mock or hurt them.

When this doesn’t happen and you feel like you’re always walking on eggshells for fear of making mistakes, or It becomes a problem it can be more than a complicated relationship.

3. Do you have your own friends, hobbies, interests, and is your partner supportive?

yes: green flag
No: red flag

For Krechevsky, relationships should be a balance of union and separation. So spending time with friends and doing activities alone or with family must be common, but if this doesn’t happen or happens infrequently, there may be risks. element. codependent as a couple.

spend most of their time together as a couple, They radically set aside their relationships with others and even give up their hobbies. – such as playing video games or playing sports – it can be a behavior mutual toxicity .

However, if you are a member of a couple, prevent others from getting involved it may be an abusive relationship.

4. Do you and your partner reconcile and come to an agreement after an argument?

yes: green flag
No: red flag

Arguments are a common factor in relationships, but according to Silverstein, “if you don’t go back to arguments to understand each person’s point of view, you can become estranged or slowly resentful.” .

So experts recommend Resuming discussions and trying to reach agreement or resolution, even if it’s painful which states that “continuously sweeping things under the rug is toxic and leads to problems that accumulate instead of being solved.”

5. Do you have any happy memories with your partner?

yes: green flag
No: red flag

The simple exercise of looking back on memories and looking for happy, joyful, or funny moments with your partner can show signs that you are in a complicated and toxic relationship.

Not all memories need to be positive, but experts say the relationship “There are so many negative things that it’s hard to remember the good times.” which can be an indicator of a toxic relationship, Silverstein recommends analysis.

6. Does your partner try to make you question your own reality and feelings?

Yes: red flag

No: green flag

Two people may not perceive the situation in the same way, but one of the relationship members nullify someone’s feelings It’s a sign of a toxic relationship.

This behavior is commonly known gaslighting May Misunderstand your feelings and make yourself question However, this is toxic behavior and forms of emotional abuse .

7. Do you trust your partner to meet all your needs or vice versa?

Yes: red flag

No: green flag

If this answer surprises you, you should reanalyze your perception of your partner. Experts say it’s important and fun for your husband or boyfriend to be your partner, but It is wrong and unrealistic to believe that all needs can be met .

“Happy and successful relationships work when each member of the relationship meets some of their needs outside of the relationship through friends, family, and community,” says Silverstein. Otherwise it can become a co-dependency.

This can lead to toxic properties such as Neglecting own needs to meet the expectations of others .

8. Do you feel the need to change or be perfect for your partner all the time?

Yes: red flag

No: green flag

Krechevsky explains: “If you feel you can’t make mistakes or appear less than perfect because it will hurt your relationship or let your partner down, then this relationship is too stressful for you to feel safe and supportive.” It will not serve as a driving force. so it is a clear precedent that you are toxic relationship .

9. Is jealousy dominating your relationship?

Yes: red flag

No: green flag

Coach affirms that there is a misconception that jealousy is “romantic” or a characteristic of interest in another person. But these can quickly turn into toxic behaviors.

therefore, If it’s a petty jealousy, we should discuss it and settle it . However, if these irrational or immature how to feel jealous friends and relatives Y express themselves in aggressive ways or choose manipulations to change them It’s a toxic substance abuse relationship.

10. Does your partner patronize, insult, or put you down?

Yes: red flag

No: green flag

if it happens Never explains the coach, but it could be a warning sign because it’s one of the most toxic behaviors that can exist in a relationship.

Some ways to detect it, according to Silverstein, are for others to “embarrass their partner in public, make fun of them, and act as if they’re better off that way.” There may also be more subtle behavior such as Using jokes or derogatory names to target you .

if Most of your answers gave red flags it’s time to analyze your relationship and take action against it. A vicious cycle you can’t get out of .

Source: Biobiochile

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